If you are considering, or are planning, a Costa Rican IVF.. please contact me at
David_and_Tracie at y a h oo
Thank you,
Tracie
ps - HUGE congrats to my dear friends Christa and Adam! (and lil' Ella!)
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Christa-Our Update!
We are pregnant!! Follow our story on http://endoandfertility.blogspot.com/ !!!!
Please continue to give Tracie your good thoughts as they try and get some answers and grow their family!!!!
Please continue to give Tracie your good thoughts as they try and get some answers and grow their family!!!!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Update from Tracie
Well, we tried.
Folks, either there's a piece of the puzzle that too many doctors have missed, or I'm the most unlucky person alive. We've officially lost pregnancy #8.
This one hurts. This one stings. This one has kicked us in the ass. Twice, and then some.
While there's a little comfort in knowing I worked my BUTT off to get/stay pregnant, that same fact stings hard. I was on so many meds. I did acupunture several times a week to get ready. I dieted, I skipped anything "bad" for you, good lord, I even (pretty much) quit my beloved wine, in the most stressful point of my LIFE. We packed up our lives and went thousands of miles away to make these babies.
We tried.
But it just wasn't our time.
We don't know what our next move is. My heart hurts so very much, but the pain of never having more kids overwelms the current pain of loosing them. I NEED a good doctor, one willing to hunt and search and never stop until we know for sure if I'm broken, or ridden with bad luck.
I will mother others. I just don't know how.
For the millionth time, I recognize how incredible my daughter is, and how blessed we are to have her. I have a husband who's willing to jump thru these hoops with me, and pick me up when I'm crumbled hysterically in the corner. For that I am lucky.
A friend in my "online mom's group" wrote some pretty poignant words a while back. Robin graciously allowed me to share her personal thoughts here, and in my times of "woe is me" and my moments of "someone shoot me now"... they've brought me comfort.
I am strong.
I guess.
From Robin:
___________________
My full thoughts on going through Infertility (aka "IF")......
I wish someone had told me that IF could change you, and it can be a change for the better. We all know it make us sad, frustrated, angry and bitter. I am still sometimes all of those things, but impossible to see, until many months after my son was born. Once I got past amazement that he was ours, that IVF did work (the second time) that I didn't miscarry or any of the other million things that terrified me the entire 39weeks and 1 day I was pregnant, I was able to get a glimpse of another reality. IF made me a better person.
Imagine that? In a few ways, too.
I never thought I was that determined, until I tried to get pregnant, with a doctor, for 27 months.
I never thought I was that bold, until I had to demand good care.
I never knew I had such tenacity, until our 9th IUI
I never thought I was that sensitive, until I sobbed and sobbed when I found out I had blocked tubes on top of diabetes, PCOS, AMA and hypothyroid.
I never thought I was brave, until I had to give myself upwards of 100 shots, in spite of a fear of needles.
I never thought I was strong, until the day I realized IVF#1 did not work, and we had to do it again.
I never thought I was compassionate, until I started to care for a message board full of women like they were my best friends.
I have been changed for the better and I like who I am, very much. I am a strong, bold and compassionate person, and I am not sure I would have become this person, this Mother to Ethan, if I hadn't followed this path. If I had one wish, of course, I would make it that I didn't have to do it, but since we know that isn't how it works, I appreciate what it taught me about myself. If I had one wish now, I would wish none of you had to go through this, I would wish no one ever had to 'learn' from IF, because as lessons go, it sucks. It isn't fair. But for me, since going through it was a necessary evil, I learned things I am not sure I would ever have known.
I pray that everyone will come out on the other side, with the family they dream of, in whatever way it takes. You are always in my thoughts.
Folks, either there's a piece of the puzzle that too many doctors have missed, or I'm the most unlucky person alive. We've officially lost pregnancy #8.
This one hurts. This one stings. This one has kicked us in the ass. Twice, and then some.
While there's a little comfort in knowing I worked my BUTT off to get/stay pregnant, that same fact stings hard. I was on so many meds. I did acupunture several times a week to get ready. I dieted, I skipped anything "bad" for you, good lord, I even (pretty much) quit my beloved wine, in the most stressful point of my LIFE. We packed up our lives and went thousands of miles away to make these babies.
We tried.
But it just wasn't our time.
We don't know what our next move is. My heart hurts so very much, but the pain of never having more kids overwelms the current pain of loosing them. I NEED a good doctor, one willing to hunt and search and never stop until we know for sure if I'm broken, or ridden with bad luck.
I will mother others. I just don't know how.
For the millionth time, I recognize how incredible my daughter is, and how blessed we are to have her. I have a husband who's willing to jump thru these hoops with me, and pick me up when I'm crumbled hysterically in the corner. For that I am lucky.
A friend in my "online mom's group" wrote some pretty poignant words a while back. Robin graciously allowed me to share her personal thoughts here, and in my times of "woe is me" and my moments of "someone shoot me now"... they've brought me comfort.
I am strong.
I guess.
From Robin:
___________________
My full thoughts on going through Infertility (aka "IF")......
I wish someone had told me that IF could change you, and it can be a change for the better. We all know it make us sad, frustrated, angry and bitter. I am still sometimes all of those things, but impossible to see, until many months after my son was born. Once I got past amazement that he was ours, that IVF did work (the second time) that I didn't miscarry or any of the other million things that terrified me the entire 39weeks and 1 day I was pregnant, I was able to get a glimpse of another reality. IF made me a better person.
Imagine that? In a few ways, too.
I never thought I was that determined, until I tried to get pregnant, with a doctor, for 27 months.
I never thought I was that bold, until I had to demand good care.
I never knew I had such tenacity, until our 9th IUI
I never thought I was that sensitive, until I sobbed and sobbed when I found out I had blocked tubes on top of diabetes, PCOS, AMA and hypothyroid.
I never thought I was brave, until I had to give myself upwards of 100 shots, in spite of a fear of needles.
I never thought I was strong, until the day I realized IVF#1 did not work, and we had to do it again.
I never thought I was compassionate, until I started to care for a message board full of women like they were my best friends.
I have been changed for the better and I like who I am, very much. I am a strong, bold and compassionate person, and I am not sure I would have become this person, this Mother to Ethan, if I hadn't followed this path. If I had one wish, of course, I would make it that I didn't have to do it, but since we know that isn't how it works, I appreciate what it taught me about myself. If I had one wish now, I would wish none of you had to go through this, I would wish no one ever had to 'learn' from IF, because as lessons go, it sucks. It isn't fair. But for me, since going through it was a necessary evil, I learned things I am not sure I would ever have known.
I pray that everyone will come out on the other side, with the family they dream of, in whatever way it takes. You are always in my thoughts.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Christa's Thoughts on Costa Rica, Panama and IVF out of the Country
I wish I would've kept my daily journal better than I had. I have so many things to say about this trip, but I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch of them. Here I go.
Traveling with a child/children for a long periods of time- This was something we couldn't avoid on the trip. I wasn't about to leave Ella (who is an active 22 month old) home for 3 weeks, so it was inevitable that she was joining us. Having said that, it was one of the most difficult things Adam and I have been through in a while. She is a good kid, but trying to get her adjusted to things in a different country was beyond challenging. She was cranky, teething, and couldn't be consoled at times. Much like at home, right? Wrong. Even though we managed to pack a bunch of toys, books, crayons, etc, she got bored, and we know what happens to toddlers when they get bored.
There are also very limited things that you can do with a child. There were different tours offered in Costa Rica which we couldn't enjoy because it would've been virtually impossible to have a child in tow. Ella liked the pool sometimes, but got sick of it fast. She hated the ocean water, so it was hard to relax and swim.
Hotels- We were fortunate enough to have a free place to stay most of the time. But as Tracie said, it's very difficult to travel back and forth like that for appointments, however, when searching, there are very few cheap (under 100$ a night) hotels by either of the hospitals we were at, especially in Panama City. If you do find a relatively good priced one, it's usually booked up.
If we hadn't had a free place to stay, it probably would've jacked the price up a good 2 grand for the whole time, but don't quote me on that.
The Doctor- Dr. P is a very nice man. He is a busy man. He takes on a lot of patients at once. He knows very basic English, which proved to be difficult at times, especially if I had concerns about something.
I think he has a standard way of handling all his patients and is a fair guy. I also think there does need to be some variance with different patients considering we each need different things. I had to remind him a few times that I have severe endo, which was scary to me, considering I had to remind him that I needed to fast for 24 hours before ER. Eeek.
He does seem to know what he is doing all in all, but I can't say that I felt completely comfortable walking out of every appointment. As Tracie said, I'm wondering about all the "extras" and whether they were done or not, but I'm not too worried about that.
When I look back on the trip- I'm not sure that I would do this again. If we were to do fertility treatments again (which we aren't) I would probably save up the extra cash and do it in the U.S. or Canada where I could get a doctor who is fluent in English and would give me a personalized protocol.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did this trip, I enjoyed some of the experiences I had and had fun doing a little sight seeing. I would not, however, call this a "vacation". MAYBE if we hadn't brought Ella it could have been, but you have restrictions on what you can do, obviously because you are going through medical procedures, so that makes it difficult to fully expand your horizons and enjoy the day zip lining through the jungle.
This IS for some people, not for all. For those of you who know some Spanish, it may be easier. For those of you who are better traveled than I, it could be for you! We got to see new sites, try new food and enjoy a different culture for 3 weeks. But BOY is it GREAT to be home:)
Traveling with a child/children for a long periods of time- This was something we couldn't avoid on the trip. I wasn't about to leave Ella (who is an active 22 month old) home for 3 weeks, so it was inevitable that she was joining us. Having said that, it was one of the most difficult things Adam and I have been through in a while. She is a good kid, but trying to get her adjusted to things in a different country was beyond challenging. She was cranky, teething, and couldn't be consoled at times. Much like at home, right? Wrong. Even though we managed to pack a bunch of toys, books, crayons, etc, she got bored, and we know what happens to toddlers when they get bored.
There are also very limited things that you can do with a child. There were different tours offered in Costa Rica which we couldn't enjoy because it would've been virtually impossible to have a child in tow. Ella liked the pool sometimes, but got sick of it fast. She hated the ocean water, so it was hard to relax and swim.
Hotels- We were fortunate enough to have a free place to stay most of the time. But as Tracie said, it's very difficult to travel back and forth like that for appointments, however, when searching, there are very few cheap (under 100$ a night) hotels by either of the hospitals we were at, especially in Panama City. If you do find a relatively good priced one, it's usually booked up.
If we hadn't had a free place to stay, it probably would've jacked the price up a good 2 grand for the whole time, but don't quote me on that.
The Doctor- Dr. P is a very nice man. He is a busy man. He takes on a lot of patients at once. He knows very basic English, which proved to be difficult at times, especially if I had concerns about something.
I think he has a standard way of handling all his patients and is a fair guy. I also think there does need to be some variance with different patients considering we each need different things. I had to remind him a few times that I have severe endo, which was scary to me, considering I had to remind him that I needed to fast for 24 hours before ER. Eeek.
He does seem to know what he is doing all in all, but I can't say that I felt completely comfortable walking out of every appointment. As Tracie said, I'm wondering about all the "extras" and whether they were done or not, but I'm not too worried about that.
When I look back on the trip- I'm not sure that I would do this again. If we were to do fertility treatments again (which we aren't) I would probably save up the extra cash and do it in the U.S. or Canada where I could get a doctor who is fluent in English and would give me a personalized protocol.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did this trip, I enjoyed some of the experiences I had and had fun doing a little sight seeing. I would not, however, call this a "vacation". MAYBE if we hadn't brought Ella it could have been, but you have restrictions on what you can do, obviously because you are going through medical procedures, so that makes it difficult to fully expand your horizons and enjoy the day zip lining through the jungle.
This IS for some people, not for all. For those of you who know some Spanish, it may be easier. For those of you who are better traveled than I, it could be for you! We got to see new sites, try new food and enjoy a different culture for 3 weeks. But BOY is it GREAT to be home:)
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tracie’s travel thoughts after our IVF Vacation in Costa Rica and Panama:
Tracie’s travel thoughts after our IVF Vacation in Costa Rica and Panama:
Things to be aware of: everything takes longer, more money, and more hassle than it does in the US.
“Pack half as much stuff, and bring twice as much money. “
Hindsight –
Hotels: I would have splurged and stayed right near the hospitals in a nice hotel. We don’t usually travel that way, but in this case, the stress of traveling from hotel to hotel, and navigating the roads, tolls, and simply trying to find the clinic, lab, pharmacy, etc… was too much stress. (and we are usually “stay in a cheap clean hotel and forage for food ourselves” kind of travelers.) Take a shuttle or cab from the airport, skip renting cars, and just enjoy your time there. Most tours will pick you up. I’m not kidding about the roads – they are truly horrible. And it’s HOT there. You won’t feel like being outside unless it’s in the water. Make no plans prior, and just do what you feel like. We actually did very little “touristy” things, but we had a toddler in tote.
Money: Costa Rica is very expensive. Even buying groceries, expect twice what you pay in the USA for some things. Denny’s for 3 adult burgers and two kid’s meals was $68. Most tours are around $100 per person, and expect to be gone all day, as most are 2-4 hours from San Jose. Most tours are not appropriate for young kids. Rental cars will be at LEAST twice what you are quoted, for insurance. Even if you have insurance thru your credit card. Our quote was $210, and the final cost was $479. Cars are smaller there too… a whole class or two smaller than you’re used to. Mark the previous damage carefully with the agent.
Panama was very much like the US, cost-wise. Some things are much cheaper. The nice resorts are at least an hour out of town, traffic sucks.
One thing we did that I do suggest: we traveled to Puntarenas, CR… to the Double Tree (all-inclusive) resort, during that 1st week stimming. (although you really could start stimming at home and just come to Dr. Perez by day 6) Taking the new toll road the drive is about 90 minutes, and the resort is lovely. We booked about $129 a nite per person (remember AI) and it was well-worth that money. The upgrade to high end booze or building three is not worth it, IMO.
If you want to escape to Jaco for a few days, the ride back to San Jose is about 90 minutes via that same toll road, and I have VERY nice condo to recommend near it all. $90 or so a nite, 2BR, kitchen, pool, etc. from a very nice American couple. I also have an acupuncturist/massage lady in Jaco that I adore. She’s willing to travel to San Jose if more than a couple of you “hire” her.
Knowing simple Spanish will help a lot. Some English is spoken, but not as much as I had hoped. Dr. P’s nurses speak very little English, but I did not need them at all. Remember you are in THEIR country, and they are not required to speak English just because you do. Speak slowly, with simple words to get your point across. We did have a couple times where we felt Dr. P’s English was not sufficient enough to understand what we were saying. When in doubt, ask him to repeat it, or say “tell me again what you mean, please.”
Money:
Bring lots of USD $20, no larger bills if you can help it. CR will take USD, and Panama uses them as their currency. Tips are usually included, check the menu for details. We used our credit card (that does not charge a conversion currency fee) and small bills. Save all your small colonies (local currency) in one handy place if you’re driving, there are many highways that have tolls of 200-500 colonies ($1-3) each. (be aware that there are “quick pass” lanes on the far right, avoid them since you’re paying cash.)
Petty theft is HUGE in Costa Rica – watch your wallets, cameras, anything left on your table as you eat, and turn your head away… but we felt very safe. But we are “seasoned” travelers. Most neighborhoods, resorts, and even the stores, have lots of security guards. When in doubt, just ask the front desk or a local. Lock your doors when driving, and know where you’re going.
Doctor:
Dr. Perez was very pleasant. According to a local (who moved from Chicago 5 years ago with her husband) Dr. Perez is “thee” doc to see in CR for IVF. His walls are filled with tons of piks of the babies, and his schedule is booked SOLID 8am to 7pm six days a week. He is VERY busy. He is very straight to the point, and does not use extra words in any way. You may feel rushed in your appt, although we often waited 60-90 minutes past our appt. time to see him. Ask your questions in a simple way, straight to the point. NO EXTRA WORDS. There was a language barrier to some extent. Make sure he understands what you are asking. (I have found working thru Mark Semple, Passport Medical, MUCH easier, in a huge way, but keep in mind, he won’t butt in your personal doc-patient relationship. That’s not his role.) Dr. P is a perfectionist, and his office, the way he does things… it’s all done with precision and attention to detail. Not my style in a buddy, but for a doctor, I’ll take it! A sense of humor gets lost in translation. Don’t even try. Het het.
All said and done… this way is great if you’re looking to do a standard antagonist protocol IVF, and don’t have anything too far outside the box. It’s a bit of a “one size fits all” approach to doing it, which he seems to pull off amazingly well. I personally think he overshoots the moon to get you pregnant, and didn’t seem worried for one second about putting in too many. He even made the comment – “do not worry, many die early anyways.” Um, not what this momma wants to hear. I got the feeling he cares very little about your history, diagnosis, etc. Just do A, B, C and he’ll get you D. I can’t really say this is “bad”… but it’s different. There will be no coddling. Sorry. None.
The ER & ET office is tiny. You literally get knocked out while laying on a small table under a shelf. It was kinda funny. You do not get a fert report, he does not see what you have until you are standing there on day 3 outside the glass. We insisted on a few minutes to discuss (alone) which he willingly gave us. I’m actually questioning the “extras” like embryo glue, assisted hatching, etc. but can’t make claims. I just suspect those are fluff words. He says he’ll go to day 5, but we didn’t have that luxury. (nor did anyone we knew) I wore a tank top under my paper robe. They are very small. I am not. Ha. I was in a LOT more pain than I planned on. Ouch. He says you can swim after ER, but not after ET. It was so hot, I did swim in pools, not oceans, post-ER. I stay dry post-ET. DO NOT GET SUNBURN. You’ll be miserable.
We paid the $2450 in cash to him (or you can wire the money) and the clinic the (3) u/s appts by credit card. ($75 each?) Other costs unexpected were: estrogen patches to help my lining $90, E2 bloodtest $40, and the progesterone he offers, $100. (be aware it’s 17P, and once I did my homework, I found that to be a dangerous form of p4 to take in my case. It’s been taken off the market in the US, and only used to prevent PTL, later in pregnancy, and there are many issues I take with it. But do your own homework, or just bring a couple bottles of PIO with you from home. )
All in all, I am happy I did it this way. Like I’ve said all along… a $20K failed IVF would have been too much to swallow. I think this trip cost us under $7K. (we had hotel perks, however).
If you have any additional questions, I am more than willing to help.
-Tracie
Things to be aware of: everything takes longer, more money, and more hassle than it does in the US.
“Pack half as much stuff, and bring twice as much money. “
Hindsight –
Hotels: I would have splurged and stayed right near the hospitals in a nice hotel. We don’t usually travel that way, but in this case, the stress of traveling from hotel to hotel, and navigating the roads, tolls, and simply trying to find the clinic, lab, pharmacy, etc… was too much stress. (and we are usually “stay in a cheap clean hotel and forage for food ourselves” kind of travelers.) Take a shuttle or cab from the airport, skip renting cars, and just enjoy your time there. Most tours will pick you up. I’m not kidding about the roads – they are truly horrible. And it’s HOT there. You won’t feel like being outside unless it’s in the water. Make no plans prior, and just do what you feel like. We actually did very little “touristy” things, but we had a toddler in tote.
Money: Costa Rica is very expensive. Even buying groceries, expect twice what you pay in the USA for some things. Denny’s for 3 adult burgers and two kid’s meals was $68. Most tours are around $100 per person, and expect to be gone all day, as most are 2-4 hours from San Jose. Most tours are not appropriate for young kids. Rental cars will be at LEAST twice what you are quoted, for insurance. Even if you have insurance thru your credit card. Our quote was $210, and the final cost was $479. Cars are smaller there too… a whole class or two smaller than you’re used to. Mark the previous damage carefully with the agent.
Panama was very much like the US, cost-wise. Some things are much cheaper. The nice resorts are at least an hour out of town, traffic sucks.
One thing we did that I do suggest: we traveled to Puntarenas, CR… to the Double Tree (all-inclusive) resort, during that 1st week stimming. (although you really could start stimming at home and just come to Dr. Perez by day 6) Taking the new toll road the drive is about 90 minutes, and the resort is lovely. We booked about $129 a nite per person (remember AI) and it was well-worth that money. The upgrade to high end booze or building three is not worth it, IMO.
If you want to escape to Jaco for a few days, the ride back to San Jose is about 90 minutes via that same toll road, and I have VERY nice condo to recommend near it all. $90 or so a nite, 2BR, kitchen, pool, etc. from a very nice American couple. I also have an acupuncturist/massage lady in Jaco that I adore. She’s willing to travel to San Jose if more than a couple of you “hire” her.
Knowing simple Spanish will help a lot. Some English is spoken, but not as much as I had hoped. Dr. P’s nurses speak very little English, but I did not need them at all. Remember you are in THEIR country, and they are not required to speak English just because you do. Speak slowly, with simple words to get your point across. We did have a couple times where we felt Dr. P’s English was not sufficient enough to understand what we were saying. When in doubt, ask him to repeat it, or say “tell me again what you mean, please.”
Money:
Bring lots of USD $20, no larger bills if you can help it. CR will take USD, and Panama uses them as their currency. Tips are usually included, check the menu for details. We used our credit card (that does not charge a conversion currency fee) and small bills. Save all your small colonies (local currency) in one handy place if you’re driving, there are many highways that have tolls of 200-500 colonies ($1-3) each. (be aware that there are “quick pass” lanes on the far right, avoid them since you’re paying cash.)
Petty theft is HUGE in Costa Rica – watch your wallets, cameras, anything left on your table as you eat, and turn your head away… but we felt very safe. But we are “seasoned” travelers. Most neighborhoods, resorts, and even the stores, have lots of security guards. When in doubt, just ask the front desk or a local. Lock your doors when driving, and know where you’re going.
Doctor:
Dr. Perez was very pleasant. According to a local (who moved from Chicago 5 years ago with her husband) Dr. Perez is “thee” doc to see in CR for IVF. His walls are filled with tons of piks of the babies, and his schedule is booked SOLID 8am to 7pm six days a week. He is VERY busy. He is very straight to the point, and does not use extra words in any way. You may feel rushed in your appt, although we often waited 60-90 minutes past our appt. time to see him. Ask your questions in a simple way, straight to the point. NO EXTRA WORDS. There was a language barrier to some extent. Make sure he understands what you are asking. (I have found working thru Mark Semple, Passport Medical, MUCH easier, in a huge way, but keep in mind, he won’t butt in your personal doc-patient relationship. That’s not his role.) Dr. P is a perfectionist, and his office, the way he does things… it’s all done with precision and attention to detail. Not my style in a buddy, but for a doctor, I’ll take it! A sense of humor gets lost in translation. Don’t even try. Het het.
All said and done… this way is great if you’re looking to do a standard antagonist protocol IVF, and don’t have anything too far outside the box. It’s a bit of a “one size fits all” approach to doing it, which he seems to pull off amazingly well. I personally think he overshoots the moon to get you pregnant, and didn’t seem worried for one second about putting in too many. He even made the comment – “do not worry, many die early anyways.” Um, not what this momma wants to hear. I got the feeling he cares very little about your history, diagnosis, etc. Just do A, B, C and he’ll get you D. I can’t really say this is “bad”… but it’s different. There will be no coddling. Sorry. None.
The ER & ET office is tiny. You literally get knocked out while laying on a small table under a shelf. It was kinda funny. You do not get a fert report, he does not see what you have until you are standing there on day 3 outside the glass. We insisted on a few minutes to discuss (alone) which he willingly gave us. I’m actually questioning the “extras” like embryo glue, assisted hatching, etc. but can’t make claims. I just suspect those are fluff words. He says he’ll go to day 5, but we didn’t have that luxury. (nor did anyone we knew) I wore a tank top under my paper robe. They are very small. I am not. Ha. I was in a LOT more pain than I planned on. Ouch. He says you can swim after ER, but not after ET. It was so hot, I did swim in pools, not oceans, post-ER. I stay dry post-ET. DO NOT GET SUNBURN. You’ll be miserable.
We paid the $2450 in cash to him (or you can wire the money) and the clinic the (3) u/s appts by credit card. ($75 each?) Other costs unexpected were: estrogen patches to help my lining $90, E2 bloodtest $40, and the progesterone he offers, $100. (be aware it’s 17P, and once I did my homework, I found that to be a dangerous form of p4 to take in my case. It’s been taken off the market in the US, and only used to prevent PTL, later in pregnancy, and there are many issues I take with it. But do your own homework, or just bring a couple bottles of PIO with you from home. )
All in all, I am happy I did it this way. Like I’ve said all along… a $20K failed IVF would have been too much to swallow. I think this trip cost us under $7K. (we had hotel perks, however).
If you have any additional questions, I am more than willing to help.
-Tracie
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Babies on board!
Well - we have a really nice outcome! (stats at a later date) We're happy!
Now we just sit and WAIT!
I am uber bummed we literally have all our eggs in one basket, and have nothing to freeze. ;-( I was not prepared for this, too optimistic about 10 taken out....
but I am THRILLED that the ones we had to transfer are that great of quality, and are quite comfortable with our decisions.
A million thanks again for all your support, thoughts, advice and love. I appreciate you all. Now we sit low for a couple days, in the shade on the beach... and fly home Wed am.
Stick. Stick. Stick. Something please stick.
Now we just sit and WAIT!
I am uber bummed we literally have all our eggs in one basket, and have nothing to freeze. ;-( I was not prepared for this, too optimistic about 10 taken out....
but I am THRILLED that the ones we had to transfer are that great of quality, and are quite comfortable with our decisions.
A million thanks again for all your support, thoughts, advice and love. I appreciate you all. Now we sit low for a couple days, in the shade on the beach... and fly home Wed am.
Stick. Stick. Stick. Something please stick.
3 Day Transfer Yesterday!!
Hey it's Tico (Christa). I had my ET yesterday! I had 5 eggs retrieved, 3 eggs fertililized (one blast and 2 grade 1's) which is GREAT!!! Adam and I made the decision to transfer all of them. We thought long and hard about how many to transfer and were only going to do 2 the whole time saying we didn't want any more than twins. After hearing the doctors statistics, we decided to transfer them all.
I'm feeling very positive about this cycle for the first time since my CD 7 check when they only found 5 follices (4 of which they thought were going to make it. But, I guess most of me knew that they were FULL of goodness:)
Now, we wait. I'm not good at waiting. But only time will tell at this point. I've done my part, Adam has done his, so we wait.
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers coming our way, every one is certainly appreciated!!
I'm feeling very positive about this cycle for the first time since my CD 7 check when they only found 5 follices (4 of which they thought were going to make it. But, I guess most of me knew that they were FULL of goodness:)
Now, we wait. I'm not good at waiting. But only time will tell at this point. I've done my part, Adam has done his, so we wait.
Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers coming our way, every one is certainly appreciated!!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Gracias.
Buenos. Tracie here.
On the day before I get to "meet" my "children"... I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm guarded to say the least. Remember, it's not the getting pregnant that's the problem, it's STAYING pregnant. Tomorrow we hear what we've made, and how they've done the past couple of days on their own. So far we're 10 for 10, I can't wait to hear where we're at, and what we'll end up transferring! (and dare I say putting on ice?!)
While I wait, I wanted to take a moment to thank a few people that helped us get here. Because regardless of how this ends up, and what the outcome is, I am most thankful for the following people that helped get me here:
--My "med angels." If it was not for the (3) gals that took the time, love, money and effort to ship me their leftovers, this trip would have been so much more expensive. One of the hard parts of infertility treatments is shooting $100 shots into your belly several times a day for weeks. You have to trust that something so outrageously expensive is going to WORK! I am forever in awe of your generosity, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
--My OB/RE "Dr. Hee" and his adorable (former) nurse Lindsay. It's been a long road getting to this point, and you have both been very patient and kind.
--Dr. Google. What would I do without easy access to medical journals and other info taken with a grain of salt.
--"My girls" on the board. Point blank, I could not have survived this without the pom poms, love, support, slaps in the face, puppies, rainbows and countless "gives it to me straight" advice.
So say "THANK YOU" seems trite. But Thank You.
--Minnesota Community Acupuncture. (http://www.minnca.com/) I am giving acupuncture a HUGE bit of the credit for getting me 10 eggs retrived. I'm old, I make bad eggs. I am a high-stress person filled with anxiety. Kerri helped me not only take that time each week to relax and unwind, but never made me feel dumb for being so anxious about the process. I want to acknowledge their unique business model of "community style" acupunture, and by sharing the space with a couple other people in the room, I was able to afford going there more often than I ever thought possible, financially, and I didn't feel bad about spending the money. Sure, we all had to listen to eachother snore here and there, but the ambiance and 1:1 attention was still there. lol. I am forever grateful for your services, and the affordability you provided. Thank you.
--Micah at Costa Rica Massage in the beach village of Jaco. I was able to contact her prior, and knew she could help me get "back in line" again prior to my travels to Panama for ER/ET. Although she's about 60-90 minutes from San Jose, we happen to be staying in this area, and I saw here for a blissful hour of relaxation. She's open to traveling to the San Jose area if you have a group of you requesting her services. AMAZING massage, very knowledgable acu techniques, and I felt amazing after we met. And she is one of the prettiest souls I've ever met. Just a beautiful person, and I am very thankful to have her on my list of people that helped make this IVF Vacation possible. Her email is michalgm@yahoo.com and her website is at http://www.costaricamassage.com/ . I cannot recommend her enough. She was wonderful.
--I'd also like to thank my friends and family for their amazing support, Mark Semple from Passport Medical for making this all come together, (Christa's) Adam's parents, for their kind and generous lodging donation, and Dr. Perez and his partner and staff. A huge thanks to Christa for her support and pompoms as we went thru this.... I can't wait to be pregnant together. ;-)
This process is hard enough to go through, and it was not easy doing it out of the country. It was stressful and there are many things I would have done differently.
But as we sat in the waiting room, a couple days back... just prior to our egg retrival... it was quiet. Just some (spanish) whispering going on... and the elevator. I had a moment of peace, and a sense of "everything is going to be ok."
Then that moment gone and went, and the panic returned.
As if on cue... someone walked by and whistled really loud, the 1st couple bars to "Don't Worry, be Happy" in perfect pitch. I later learned it was Dr. Perez's partner. He loves to whistle. He had no idea how much I needed that tune. Right then. Right now.
My eyes filled up with tears, and that susie sunshine chit I do so well, returned.
Don't worry. I'm happy.
I'm about to mother others. I just know it!
On the day before I get to "meet" my "children"... I'm excited. I'm nervous. I'm guarded to say the least. Remember, it's not the getting pregnant that's the problem, it's STAYING pregnant. Tomorrow we hear what we've made, and how they've done the past couple of days on their own. So far we're 10 for 10, I can't wait to hear where we're at, and what we'll end up transferring! (and dare I say putting on ice?!)
While I wait, I wanted to take a moment to thank a few people that helped us get here. Because regardless of how this ends up, and what the outcome is, I am most thankful for the following people that helped get me here:
--My "med angels." If it was not for the (3) gals that took the time, love, money and effort to ship me their leftovers, this trip would have been so much more expensive. One of the hard parts of infertility treatments is shooting $100 shots into your belly several times a day for weeks. You have to trust that something so outrageously expensive is going to WORK! I am forever in awe of your generosity, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.
--My OB/RE "Dr. Hee" and his adorable (former) nurse Lindsay. It's been a long road getting to this point, and you have both been very patient and kind.
--Dr. Google. What would I do without easy access to medical journals and other info taken with a grain of salt.
--"My girls" on the board. Point blank, I could not have survived this without the pom poms, love, support, slaps in the face, puppies, rainbows and countless "gives it to me straight" advice.
So say "THANK YOU" seems trite. But Thank You.
--Minnesota Community Acupuncture. (http://www.minnca.com/) I am giving acupuncture a HUGE bit of the credit for getting me 10 eggs retrived. I'm old, I make bad eggs. I am a high-stress person filled with anxiety. Kerri helped me not only take that time each week to relax and unwind, but never made me feel dumb for being so anxious about the process. I want to acknowledge their unique business model of "community style" acupunture, and by sharing the space with a couple other people in the room, I was able to afford going there more often than I ever thought possible, financially, and I didn't feel bad about spending the money. Sure, we all had to listen to eachother snore here and there, but the ambiance and 1:1 attention was still there. lol. I am forever grateful for your services, and the affordability you provided. Thank you.
--Micah at Costa Rica Massage in the beach village of Jaco. I was able to contact her prior, and knew she could help me get "back in line" again prior to my travels to Panama for ER/ET. Although she's about 60-90 minutes from San Jose, we happen to be staying in this area, and I saw here for a blissful hour of relaxation. She's open to traveling to the San Jose area if you have a group of you requesting her services. AMAZING massage, very knowledgable acu techniques, and I felt amazing after we met. And she is one of the prettiest souls I've ever met. Just a beautiful person, and I am very thankful to have her on my list of people that helped make this IVF Vacation possible. Her email is michalgm@yahoo.com and her website is at http://www.costaricamassage.com/ . I cannot recommend her enough. She was wonderful.
--I'd also like to thank my friends and family for their amazing support, Mark Semple from Passport Medical for making this all come together, (Christa's) Adam's parents, for their kind and generous lodging donation, and Dr. Perez and his partner and staff. A huge thanks to Christa for her support and pompoms as we went thru this.... I can't wait to be pregnant together. ;-)
This process is hard enough to go through, and it was not easy doing it out of the country. It was stressful and there are many things I would have done differently.
But as we sat in the waiting room, a couple days back... just prior to our egg retrival... it was quiet. Just some (spanish) whispering going on... and the elevator. I had a moment of peace, and a sense of "everything is going to be ok."
Then that moment gone and went, and the panic returned.
As if on cue... someone walked by and whistled really loud, the 1st couple bars to "Don't Worry, be Happy" in perfect pitch. I later learned it was Dr. Perez's partner. He loves to whistle. He had no idea how much I needed that tune. Right then. Right now.
My eyes filled up with tears, and that susie sunshine chit I do so well, returned.
Don't worry. I'm happy.
I'm about to mother others. I just know it!
Friday, May 14, 2010
ER and why I'm happy:)
My ER was May 12th, the day we got off the plane for Panama.
We got 5 eggs. I'm very happy with this, I wasn't before, but now I am. I'll probably have just enough to transfer 2 or 3. Part of me doesn't want to have any to freeze cause I'm not sure I would come back for a FET or not. So this is a perfect scenario. Those eggs are full of goodness, I just know it!!
I was pretty sore yesterday to the point where getting up and peeing was a huge challenge, but it's a lot different today, I feel much better.
I cannot wait to be home though. With my embies in me, cuddled up on the couch, watching movies with Adam. Cannot wait.
We got 5 eggs. I'm very happy with this, I wasn't before, but now I am. I'll probably have just enough to transfer 2 or 3. Part of me doesn't want to have any to freeze cause I'm not sure I would come back for a FET or not. So this is a perfect scenario. Those eggs are full of goodness, I just know it!!
I was pretty sore yesterday to the point where getting up and peeing was a huge challenge, but it's a lot different today, I feel much better.
I cannot wait to be home though. With my embies in me, cuddled up on the couch, watching movies with Adam. Cannot wait.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Diez!
Tracie here...
My ER (egg retrival, or "assssspiration" as they say here) was this morning. The most nerve-wracking wait ever, but once I was in, it was quick and easy. I was pretty sore prior, as my ovaries were plump and full of eggs, and afterwards I pretty much was in a lot of pain, but manageable with tylenol and the like.
But the great news is HE GOT OUT 10 EGGS! As he said "a perfect 10!" and as we speak, there's a little place in Panama that's cooking 10 of our kids. Weird feeling. We go back sunday afternoon, and check and see how they're doing. We'll do a "3 day transfer" at that time, or wait a couple more days if we can afford it, quality-wise.
Then we fly home Wed. and wait.
I am happy. I hope they're good eggs. And I hope they grow well.
Then we'll work on the next hurdles.... hoping something sticks.
Christa will post her update soon.
My ER (egg retrival, or "assssspiration" as they say here) was this morning. The most nerve-wracking wait ever, but once I was in, it was quick and easy. I was pretty sore prior, as my ovaries were plump and full of eggs, and afterwards I pretty much was in a lot of pain, but manageable with tylenol and the like.
But the great news is HE GOT OUT 10 EGGS! As he said "a perfect 10!" and as we speak, there's a little place in Panama that's cooking 10 of our kids. Weird feeling. We go back sunday afternoon, and check and see how they're doing. We'll do a "3 day transfer" at that time, or wait a couple more days if we can afford it, quality-wise.
Then we fly home Wed. and wait.
I am happy. I hope they're good eggs. And I hope they grow well.
Then we'll work on the next hurdles.... hoping something sticks.
Christa will post her update soon.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Update, piks, blah blah blah....
UPDATE:
Christa: my check today was surprising - I had hoped to have more follicles "baking" than I thought, and was disappointed, to say the least, at the 5 (15mm-20mm) I have brewing. Lining was decent at best, and both Tracie and I have started estrogen patches to help us. I'm hoping cetrotide we started will hold things and let the small littles catch up.
Ella is enjoying Costa Rica, and eating/sleeping well. I'm looking forward to laying on the beach in Jacomofeenahnay... and getting a good report on monday!
Tracie: 7th day of stims, gonal 225iu and menopur. 13 follies, sizes 10-13mm, with a decent lining. Adding one dose of menopur, started ganrilex, and keeping gonal dose the same. I was sore the day or two prior, but felt good today. I'm happy with the results, but anxious to know my E2, which didn't get sent to us as expected.
David and I (and Ava) returned from Puntarenas, where we had a nice, albeit super hot, time. We're in San Jose for a couple more days, then onto the beaches near Jaco. We leave for Panama on Wed AM, and looking forward to a country nicer on our wallets. Ava has been having fun, but man is she SPICY! Quick with the tantrums, and very much insistant on her ways. Can't say that's really the travels, more her age. And Irish blood. lol. Oh well. Tomorrow we hope to find a local market to browse and take piks, but it's a huge inagural day for their President, and rumor has it all major highways will be closed until late in the day. Uggh.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Oh La.
Hola! Tracie here.
Costa Rica is great. Costa Rica is HOT. Costa Rica, I'm afraid, is expensive. Denny's. $68 for 3 adult burgers and 2 kids meals. Just sayin'.
But so far, Costa Rica is still a great country in my eyes.
At the moment, I'm thankful for a great cd3 checkup, and an easy-going week of stims. I'm thankful for the GPS we bought off Ebay, all loaded up with CR maps... I think we might have literally DIED without it. Best. purchase. ever.
Our girls are stinkin' cute as bugs together. Holding hands within minutes of meeting, and doing better than I thought (but less than perfect) on the whole idea of SHARING. But since both have attention spans of moths, distraction is still our bestie.
After the much anticipated green lights given by Dr. P last saturday, we have both begun the task of stimming. I'm doing great, feeling FULL after 4 days of it, and expect C is having a bit of the same. (she's a couple hours away for a few days, with less than easy internet connection)
More updates later in the week. Until then... I leave you with the reason we're doing this in the 1st place...
We want some mo' of THESE:
Pura Vida, folks. Keep those good thoughts coming our way!!
Lupe (Tracie)
Costa Rica is great. Costa Rica is HOT. Costa Rica, I'm afraid, is expensive. Denny's. $68 for 3 adult burgers and 2 kids meals. Just sayin'.
But so far, Costa Rica is still a great country in my eyes.
At the moment, I'm thankful for a great cd3 checkup, and an easy-going week of stims. I'm thankful for the GPS we bought off Ebay, all loaded up with CR maps... I think we might have literally DIED without it. Best. purchase. ever.
Our girls are stinkin' cute as bugs together. Holding hands within minutes of meeting, and doing better than I thought (but less than perfect) on the whole idea of SHARING. But since both have attention spans of moths, distraction is still our bestie.
After the much anticipated green lights given by Dr. P last saturday, we have both begun the task of stimming. I'm doing great, feeling FULL after 4 days of it, and expect C is having a bit of the same. (she's a couple hours away for a few days, with less than easy internet connection)
More updates later in the week. Until then... I leave you with the reason we're doing this in the 1st place...
We want some mo' of THESE:
Pura Vida, folks. Keep those good thoughts coming our way!!
Lupe (Tracie)
Friday, April 23, 2010
Shoes Part Deux
A week from today we’ll be heading to Costa Rica, and couldn’t be more thrilled!
As I mentioned in a previous post HERE, I’m making a stop at the Costa Rican Humanitarian Foundation… to take portraits for their families and donate all the shoes you have so lovingly sent!
A HUGE THANKS to all that donated: from Pacy, to AvaLava, to Nemz, to the cousins in Gatorville.
In a strange twist (which tends to be the story of my life, lol) I didn’t get 49 POUNDS of shoes, but ironically ended up with 49 pairs to donate. Kinda kooky? huh?
I’ve been in contact with the director, Cathy, and we’re all just thrilled to be helping out the Ticans with this gift!
Thank you all again for your kindness.
Pura Vida!
A few shots….
As I mentioned in a previous post HERE, I’m making a stop at the Costa Rican Humanitarian Foundation… to take portraits for their families and donate all the shoes you have so lovingly sent!
A HUGE THANKS to all that donated: from Pacy, to AvaLava, to Nemz, to the cousins in Gatorville.
In a strange twist (which tends to be the story of my life, lol) I didn’t get 49 POUNDS of shoes, but ironically ended up with 49 pairs to donate. Kinda kooky? huh?
I’ve been in contact with the director, Cathy, and we’re all just thrilled to be helping out the Ticans with this gift!
Thank you all again for your kindness.
Pura Vida!
A few shots….
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A Stream of Nonsense from Two Nervous Chicas
Tracie:Ever have one of those days where you are just in a total panic for no real reason? I'm pacing around the house, all wound up... with 1000 things to do, and can't concentrate on even one of them.
I am HATING how I feel on birth control pills (which ironically, you have to be on prior to IVF to "quiet" your ovaries down, only to WAKE THEM UP BY SCREAMING AT THEM with $4K worth of meds... oh lordie I never realized how awful they are, wowza! so much of my 20's make more sense now, lol... I have too much to get done before CR, I'm freaking out about NOT CYCLING (who knew the lack of daily/weekly appts would send me over the edge...) and I just don't know what to do with myself.
I need to finalize the landscape stuff to be done while we're gone, and dig thru the gross part of the basement to find the paint we used for the family room and such. (ice dam repairs) There's seedling planting to be done, and hastas to replant. The dog needs a haircut and so does this lady. Let's not even talk about the state of my winter feet. Ick. A pedicure is going to cost me an extra $20 in tips as an apology. Davez has bought the same belt 3 times by mistake, and now it's up to me to fix it. The laundry is piling up, the poor fish needs a bowl change, and someone PLEASE tell Ava where she put her Dora "pack pack" because it's no where to be found. The ONLY thing that came as good news today is the fact my mattress finally "failed" it's inspection and now Mattress Giant WILL HAVE TO REPLACE it. I've been fighting over this POS mattress for quite a while now. They obviously didn't know who they were messing with! "Tenacious" is my middle name.
I have moments where I think I'm coming undone. Where I'm convinced this whole trip will be a bust and I'll come back with nothing but 4 gig cards full of cute pictures and a sunburn.
Then there's moments where I know in (probably) one month from today we'll be holding the cards we were delt. We'll know what we're capable of making, in scientific terms. (we already know Ava is perfect, lol). I still have the audacity of hope. I still worry about everything 98% of my day. And I still can't find that "Parisian Rain" paint can. Damnit.
Christa: My smushy thoughts (All of my thoughts smushed into a paragraph of nonsensical phrases) This is what happens the cycle before IVF and you have a fear of the unknown. It totally consumes your life.
Eggs, sperm, embryos, eggs, sperm, embryos...... lots of embryos. How am I going to fit all of this in one suitcase?I hope Ella decides not to throw a fit on the airplane. What if this works and we have twins, how will I do two at a time plus a toddler? Should I bring pepper spray over the border or buy it there? Eggs, sperm, embryos, eggs, sperm, embryos...... lots of embryos. I'm tired. No milk left, I have to run to the store (come back with more stuff to pack in my suitcase). Should I start learning more Spanish than "Hola" and "El bano"? I need to clean and prep, but I'm sitting here on Facebook. Stay in the zone Christa. I should run to Target. Can three carseats fit in my Fusion? Did I watch LOST this week yet? I wonder if those injections are going to hurt as much as I think they are. That E-bay skirt is cute! I hate Yaz. Eggs, sperm, embryos, eggs, sperm, embryos....lots of embryos.
I am HATING how I feel on birth control pills (which ironically, you have to be on prior to IVF to "quiet" your ovaries down, only to WAKE THEM UP BY SCREAMING AT THEM with $4K worth of meds... oh lordie I never realized how awful they are, wowza! so much of my 20's make more sense now, lol... I have too much to get done before CR, I'm freaking out about NOT CYCLING (who knew the lack of daily/weekly appts would send me over the edge...) and I just don't know what to do with myself.
I need to finalize the landscape stuff to be done while we're gone, and dig thru the gross part of the basement to find the paint we used for the family room and such. (ice dam repairs) There's seedling planting to be done, and hastas to replant. The dog needs a haircut and so does this lady. Let's not even talk about the state of my winter feet. Ick. A pedicure is going to cost me an extra $20 in tips as an apology. Davez has bought the same belt 3 times by mistake, and now it's up to me to fix it. The laundry is piling up, the poor fish needs a bowl change, and someone PLEASE tell Ava where she put her Dora "pack pack" because it's no where to be found. The ONLY thing that came as good news today is the fact my mattress finally "failed" it's inspection and now Mattress Giant WILL HAVE TO REPLACE it. I've been fighting over this POS mattress for quite a while now. They obviously didn't know who they were messing with! "Tenacious" is my middle name.
I have moments where I think I'm coming undone. Where I'm convinced this whole trip will be a bust and I'll come back with nothing but 4 gig cards full of cute pictures and a sunburn.
Then there's moments where I know in (probably) one month from today we'll be holding the cards we were delt. We'll know what we're capable of making, in scientific terms. (we already know Ava is perfect, lol). I still have the audacity of hope. I still worry about everything 98% of my day. And I still can't find that "Parisian Rain" paint can. Damnit.
Christa: My smushy thoughts (All of my thoughts smushed into a paragraph of nonsensical phrases) This is what happens the cycle before IVF and you have a fear of the unknown. It totally consumes your life.
Eggs, sperm, embryos, eggs, sperm, embryos...... lots of embryos. How am I going to fit all of this in one suitcase?I hope Ella decides not to throw a fit on the airplane. What if this works and we have twins, how will I do two at a time plus a toddler? Should I bring pepper spray over the border or buy it there? Eggs, sperm, embryos, eggs, sperm, embryos...... lots of embryos. I'm tired. No milk left, I have to run to the store (come back with more stuff to pack in my suitcase). Should I start learning more Spanish than "Hola" and "El bano"? I need to clean and prep, but I'm sitting here on Facebook. Stay in the zone Christa. I should run to Target. Can three carseats fit in my Fusion? Did I watch LOST this week yet? I wonder if those injections are going to hurt as much as I think they are. That E-bay skirt is cute! I hate Yaz. Eggs, sperm, embryos, eggs, sperm, embryos....lots of embryos.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
What's on our mind?
Tracie e-mailed me today asking a question.
What are your 3 worries and 3 fun things you are looking forward to on this trip?
My answers were as follows:
Worries:
1) One of us gets sick or is physically not able to go through with it the procedure.
2) OHSS
3) We get there and they pull a fast one on us with fees.
Looking forward to:
1) meeting Tracie and Ava:)
2) getting to see two beautiful countries
3)having new experiences!!
Tracie made me do my own before I looked at hers which were:
Worries:
1) Something physically stopping us from going
2) Bunk embryos
3) OHSS
Looking forward to:
1) Shopping local markets
2) Getting a great fert report
3) Toes in the sand and surf at midnight
What would be the top 3 worries/3 things you would be looking forward to? What do you think we should be worried about?
What are your 3 worries and 3 fun things you are looking forward to on this trip?
My answers were as follows:
Worries:
1) One of us gets sick or is physically not able to go through with it the procedure.
2) OHSS
3) We get there and they pull a fast one on us with fees.
Looking forward to:
1) meeting Tracie and Ava:)
2) getting to see two beautiful countries
3)having new experiences!!
Tracie made me do my own before I looked at hers which were:
Worries:
1) Something physically stopping us from going
2) Bunk embryos
3) OHSS
Looking forward to:
1) Shopping local markets
2) Getting a great fert report
3) Toes in the sand and surf at midnight
What would be the top 3 worries/3 things you would be looking forward to? What do you think we should be worried about?
Friday, April 2, 2010
How Has Dealing With Infertility Changed Your Relationships?
Christa
Fertility has most certainly affected every single one of my relationships in everyday life. I’m not sure that I’ve actually lost friends over it, but I have kept myself at a distance from some who may not say the right thing.
One instance, for example, when we lost our second baby, we found ourselves having to “untell” people that we were pregnant. We will never tell people early again for this very reason. We got a lot of well wishes and “I’m sorry for your loss” messages which were nice, but we also experienced certain people who would tell us “it was God’s way of telling us it wasn’t meant to be”. That’s about the last thing you want to hear when you lose a baby. That YOUR baby wasn’t “meant to be”. And to even bring God into it is ridiculous. I can remember one person distinctly telling me this even after I told her it bothered me. We are still friends, but I don’t disclose as much anymore.
My “mommies group” I belong to has given undying support in my times of need. They are going through the same sort of thing that I am and I think that really helps. I’ve made so many friends through this group and sometimes I think they are why I can get through the day. And I have to say, if it weren't for this "mommies group", Tracie and I wouldn't be going on this trip and for that I'm eternally grateful.
Going through infertility, I’ve heard comments like “have you thought about adopting?” or “how about a surrogate?” I politely decline, but really want to say something like “my condition doesn’t even require a surrogate and it’s even more costly than the IVF we’re about to do.” Or “would you give up your dream of having a biological child if that’s what you wanted the most”. And, again, adoption is more costly than infertility treatments most times. Maybe they think what they are saying is absolutely innocent, but if you sit back and listen to what you are asking, it’s sometimes insulting.
My family has always been there for me. They may not know exactly what it is they should say, so they mostly stay quiet, but I know they are there for me if I need to cry or pout about a failed cycle or how unfair it is that the 15 year old girl 2 streets down is pregnant with her second. My mom has been there for me through all the surgeries, letdowns, horrible doctors appointments and everything else. So I think infertility has STRENGTHENED our relationship. What I think is great about that is the fact that she was VERY fertile, so she had to reach to the other side of the spectrum and make sure she didn’t say anything to offend me.
Let me finish off saying something about my rock in all of this. I think infertility has brought my husband and I closer together. Experiencing infertility in a relationship can be very challenging, but you see just how strong your relationship is and just how much it can be put to the test. Adam has sat next to me time and time again, obnoxiously testing WAY too early to see if there was a hint of HcG in my blood. He never said a word, because he knew it was my way of coping with all of it. He has listened through all the tears about my friends getting pregnant and me not.
Now, I’m not saying we don’t fight about other things in our lives, but this is one thing we’ve come closer together because of. We support each other and I think it helps to know that at least there is one consistent reprieve at the end of the day.Adam made no hint of resistance about this trip. He was all for it if it meant getting another baby out of it. And while this trip has the chance of being unsuccessful, I know that Adam and I will make it through and keep trying. Infertility has at least made our relationship more stable.
Tracie
How has it NOT? I can't think of one relationship that it's not touched, in some way, shape or form. I have friends that I am closer to, because they've delt with this crap themselves. Those are the best kind of friends in my world right now. They get the frustration. The understand the heartache and disappointment. They know that sometimes they just need to STFU and listen, and nod their head, and agree that yes, this does suck, in just the increments.
Then there are family members that have no idea what to do. It's not like you want to sit around and talk about your sex life with your parents (or heck, maybe you do, whatever) and because most of this is so very personal, I think in my case, much goes unsaid. And how can someone "be there" for you if they don't know what's going on? How?
Sometimes I feel like I'm a huge big fat disappointment to my parents. I waited too long to start having kids, lost a bunch of their grandkids along the way, and here I sit. Broken. They don't get how financially stressful this is. The don't get the physical pain of stims. They don't get "BFN's" because they never had to deal with them. Siblings? Mine don't have a clue. I don't so much mind that, we're spaced so far apart I'm not sure support from them would be an option. My SIL knows and "gets" this a bit, because she's had another friend deal with it, so that's nice. Davez's sister/SIL are very supportive as well. But by no fault of their own, they don't "get it get it", know what I mean?
I think the biggest impact Infertility has had on my relationships has been with my "BFF's from growing up." There are two friends I've had since I was a tween. We've been friends for a 1,000 years. But now we don't even know eachother. We're all in different places in our lives. In my eyes, they stopped caring about what was going on with me. Perhaps they don't get it, perhaps they don't WANT to. And I'm sure that sounds like a whole 'lotta Me. Me. Me. but when an "issue" (what is this?) is what your life REVOLVES around, it becomes a PART of who you are. No longer do I care about calling boys from the payphone in the Pizza Hut parking lot. I care about how what my follie check will be next Tuesday. That's both hard to explain, and hard to know how to be friends to. I don't blame them, or hate them for "not caring." But I wish they would. At least on SOME level. That's been the hardest part of Infertility on my relationships.
Add the biggest love in my life... my husband. What has this done to me & Davez?
I do not know. Sometimes I feel like we're just going through the motions. Sometimes he's my roommate and I can't stand him and his dirty socks. Sometimes he's the only friend I have in this world. Sometimes I think he has NO CLUE how hard this is. Sometimes he hurts more than I do, and I might have missed his signs. He's subtle like that. He's German. I'm sure he wishes as hard as I do that we didn't have to deal with this. And often I wonder how in the HELL I would get through any of this without him.
I carry a great deal of guilt for the issues I've brought to growing our family. Guilt that's manifested itself into my thighs and waistline. Guilt that's made my scalp gross, my moods bitchy, and my temper short. And here he sits. Waiting for me to tell him the next move. Sometimes when I'm mad at my roommate for his stinky socks I think of this.
And then I fall even more in love with that roommate, and said stinky socks. Although he's got some morphology issues that may have contributed to our woes, it is with his strength that we've gotten through this crap. Put another tick mark under "saved me" for my Davez. If we can get through this part, we're golden....
If you have delt with infertility, and feel comfortable writing about how it's affected your relationship, we'd love to hear from you. One of many reasons we're doing this blog is not only to educate and guide people on the "IVF Vacation" process, but perhaps to help the friends & family with the intimate feelings of someone who's going through this as well. We'd love to hear from you in the comments below, or feel free to email us your thoughts, which we can certainly post without names/info.
Thank you!
Fertility has most certainly affected every single one of my relationships in everyday life. I’m not sure that I’ve actually lost friends over it, but I have kept myself at a distance from some who may not say the right thing.
One instance, for example, when we lost our second baby, we found ourselves having to “untell” people that we were pregnant. We will never tell people early again for this very reason. We got a lot of well wishes and “I’m sorry for your loss” messages which were nice, but we also experienced certain people who would tell us “it was God’s way of telling us it wasn’t meant to be”. That’s about the last thing you want to hear when you lose a baby. That YOUR baby wasn’t “meant to be”. And to even bring God into it is ridiculous. I can remember one person distinctly telling me this even after I told her it bothered me. We are still friends, but I don’t disclose as much anymore.
My “mommies group” I belong to has given undying support in my times of need. They are going through the same sort of thing that I am and I think that really helps. I’ve made so many friends through this group and sometimes I think they are why I can get through the day. And I have to say, if it weren't for this "mommies group", Tracie and I wouldn't be going on this trip and for that I'm eternally grateful.
Going through infertility, I’ve heard comments like “have you thought about adopting?” or “how about a surrogate?” I politely decline, but really want to say something like “my condition doesn’t even require a surrogate and it’s even more costly than the IVF we’re about to do.” Or “would you give up your dream of having a biological child if that’s what you wanted the most”. And, again, adoption is more costly than infertility treatments most times. Maybe they think what they are saying is absolutely innocent, but if you sit back and listen to what you are asking, it’s sometimes insulting.
My family has always been there for me. They may not know exactly what it is they should say, so they mostly stay quiet, but I know they are there for me if I need to cry or pout about a failed cycle or how unfair it is that the 15 year old girl 2 streets down is pregnant with her second. My mom has been there for me through all the surgeries, letdowns, horrible doctors appointments and everything else. So I think infertility has STRENGTHENED our relationship. What I think is great about that is the fact that she was VERY fertile, so she had to reach to the other side of the spectrum and make sure she didn’t say anything to offend me.
Let me finish off saying something about my rock in all of this. I think infertility has brought my husband and I closer together. Experiencing infertility in a relationship can be very challenging, but you see just how strong your relationship is and just how much it can be put to the test. Adam has sat next to me time and time again, obnoxiously testing WAY too early to see if there was a hint of HcG in my blood. He never said a word, because he knew it was my way of coping with all of it. He has listened through all the tears about my friends getting pregnant and me not.
Now, I’m not saying we don’t fight about other things in our lives, but this is one thing we’ve come closer together because of. We support each other and I think it helps to know that at least there is one consistent reprieve at the end of the day.Adam made no hint of resistance about this trip. He was all for it if it meant getting another baby out of it. And while this trip has the chance of being unsuccessful, I know that Adam and I will make it through and keep trying. Infertility has at least made our relationship more stable.
Tracie
How has it NOT? I can't think of one relationship that it's not touched, in some way, shape or form. I have friends that I am closer to, because they've delt with this crap themselves. Those are the best kind of friends in my world right now. They get the frustration. The understand the heartache and disappointment. They know that sometimes they just need to STFU and listen, and nod their head, and agree that yes, this does suck, in just the increments.
Then there are family members that have no idea what to do. It's not like you want to sit around and talk about your sex life with your parents (or heck, maybe you do, whatever) and because most of this is so very personal, I think in my case, much goes unsaid. And how can someone "be there" for you if they don't know what's going on? How?
Sometimes I feel like I'm a huge big fat disappointment to my parents. I waited too long to start having kids, lost a bunch of their grandkids along the way, and here I sit. Broken. They don't get how financially stressful this is. The don't get the physical pain of stims. They don't get "BFN's" because they never had to deal with them. Siblings? Mine don't have a clue. I don't so much mind that, we're spaced so far apart I'm not sure support from them would be an option. My SIL knows and "gets" this a bit, because she's had another friend deal with it, so that's nice. Davez's sister/SIL are very supportive as well. But by no fault of their own, they don't "get it get it", know what I mean?
I think the biggest impact Infertility has had on my relationships has been with my "BFF's from growing up." There are two friends I've had since I was a tween. We've been friends for a 1,000 years. But now we don't even know eachother. We're all in different places in our lives. In my eyes, they stopped caring about what was going on with me. Perhaps they don't get it, perhaps they don't WANT to. And I'm sure that sounds like a whole 'lotta Me. Me. Me. but when an "issue" (what is this?) is what your life REVOLVES around, it becomes a PART of who you are. No longer do I care about calling boys from the payphone in the Pizza Hut parking lot. I care about how what my follie check will be next Tuesday. That's both hard to explain, and hard to know how to be friends to. I don't blame them, or hate them for "not caring." But I wish they would. At least on SOME level. That's been the hardest part of Infertility on my relationships.
Add the biggest love in my life... my husband. What has this done to me & Davez?
I do not know. Sometimes I feel like we're just going through the motions. Sometimes he's my roommate and I can't stand him and his dirty socks. Sometimes he's the only friend I have in this world. Sometimes I think he has NO CLUE how hard this is. Sometimes he hurts more than I do, and I might have missed his signs. He's subtle like that. He's German. I'm sure he wishes as hard as I do that we didn't have to deal with this. And often I wonder how in the HELL I would get through any of this without him.
I carry a great deal of guilt for the issues I've brought to growing our family. Guilt that's manifested itself into my thighs and waistline. Guilt that's made my scalp gross, my moods bitchy, and my temper short. And here he sits. Waiting for me to tell him the next move. Sometimes when I'm mad at my roommate for his stinky socks I think of this.
And then I fall even more in love with that roommate, and said stinky socks. Although he's got some morphology issues that may have contributed to our woes, it is with his strength that we've gotten through this crap. Put another tick mark under "saved me" for my Davez. If we can get through this part, we're golden....
If you have delt with infertility, and feel comfortable writing about how it's affected your relationship, we'd love to hear from you. One of many reasons we're doing this blog is not only to educate and guide people on the "IVF Vacation" process, but perhaps to help the friends & family with the intimate feelings of someone who's going through this as well. We'd love to hear from you in the comments below, or feel free to email us your thoughts, which we can certainly post without names/info.
Thank you!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
We need your shoes
No, not the ones that are on your feet. The ones you don't use anymore. Tracie has this GREAT idea of donating shoes to local shelters. Got any?? Email us at ticoandlupe@gmail.com!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
More Q&A- Christa&Tracie
Where are the snow babies kept if you have any that make it to freeze?
They are kept in Panama where they are ready for either donation or an FET.
If my cycle doesn't succeed, will I try again with a frozen FET?
Christa-A FET is an option, but I'm not sure how soon we would do it. Depends on funds and time off. I'm the only one who will essentially need time off because the embryos will already be down there, but it's still difficult with everything we have going on in our normal, everyday life.
Tracie: Yes. As soon as we can, I hope. I will mother others.
Are all of us going (IE- husbands, kids)-
Yes, all of us are eventually going to be there. Tracie, Ava, Christa, Adam, and Ella are traveling down there first and Davez is meeting us there a couple of days later. We are staying together most of the time, and Tracie, Davez, and Ava are taking a brief trip to the coast when we don't have doctors appts for a stretch of time.
Was it difficult to convince your DH to do this IVF Vacation?
Christa- At first, I think Adam was kind of wary of going to another country for medical care, but with all the research that both Tracie and I did, he was almost immediately convinced.
Tracie- I think we both took a while to get used to the idea. I still can't believe our journey has led us here. NEVER did I think we'd have to do IVF. Never. But the idea of doing something unconventional like out-of-the-country IVF is right up our alley. We traveled around the world for 6 months straight in 2006... traveling is our "thing" to say the least. So this kinda' "fits" us, I guess.
Davez still tries to change the whole plan (which is now 99% booked) to going to Thailand instead, but logistically, this just makes more sense. To be honest, I didn't think he'd go for it. Then I thought he went for it to shut me up. Now he's on board. Nervous, and displacing over it, but on board. His biggest fear is not having time to chill by himself, and having Ava loose her chit on the airplane. I got both handled, we'll be fine.
Do you know each other or will you be meeting for the first time in Costa Rica?
This is the exciting part. We have only been email chatting and will be meeting each other for the first time in the baggage terminal where Tracie has already said that she is going to try not to laugh at my "East Coast" accent:)
Tracie: Little does Christa know, I'm actually a 13 year old zit-covered kid from Portland, Oregon. I've been foolin' all your asses for years now. Surprise!
What do your families think about this?
Christa- my parents have been very supportive, my mom was a bit skeptical at first because the first plan was for the girls to go for half and the guys to go for the other. She was upset Adam wasn't going for the whole time and we were going to be "alone" in a foreign country. But she's ok with it especially now since Adam is coming for the whole thing. Honestly, I was a little bit scared of flying all that way with Ella on my lap especially since I hate flying (I get very sick and my ears won't pop). So I'm glad to have the help.
My in laws have been great, helping us book some of their time share so we don't have to pay to stay at certain times during the trip. BIG HELP!!! They are very supportive of our adventure.
Tracie- Hhhmm, that's still pending. My mom is scared, I think. Of the unknown. I tried to explain the process to her last nite, and she says "OMG, this is all very complicated." Um, yes. It is. My dad doesn't say much. We've not said anything else to other family yet. Not sure what we'll do with this.
Our biggest fear is that a child that comes from this process will be LABELED. Which happens sometimes, as much as we'd like to think it doesn't. This has been one helluva journey for us. Although I am bummed (read: ashamed) my body has not worked for us well, I will be extremely proud of any child that comes from this. No matter HOW they got into my belly. I wish Guiana & Bill Rancic were not the ones paving the way for people being open about Infertility. I wish superstars would not keep this problem a secret. I wish no one had to deal with it, but if someone does, I would sure love for that shroud of (whatever it is) to not cover it.
Rant over. Sorry. I don't care what people think, we're doing what is best for our family.
As always, feel free to ask any other questions you have, we are happy to answer.
They are kept in Panama where they are ready for either donation or an FET.
If my cycle doesn't succeed, will I try again with a frozen FET?
Christa-A FET is an option, but I'm not sure how soon we would do it. Depends on funds and time off. I'm the only one who will essentially need time off because the embryos will already be down there, but it's still difficult with everything we have going on in our normal, everyday life.
Tracie: Yes. As soon as we can, I hope. I will mother others.
Are all of us going (IE- husbands, kids)-
Yes, all of us are eventually going to be there. Tracie, Ava, Christa, Adam, and Ella are traveling down there first and Davez is meeting us there a couple of days later. We are staying together most of the time, and Tracie, Davez, and Ava are taking a brief trip to the coast when we don't have doctors appts for a stretch of time.
Was it difficult to convince your DH to do this IVF Vacation?
Christa- At first, I think Adam was kind of wary of going to another country for medical care, but with all the research that both Tracie and I did, he was almost immediately convinced.
Tracie- I think we both took a while to get used to the idea. I still can't believe our journey has led us here. NEVER did I think we'd have to do IVF. Never. But the idea of doing something unconventional like out-of-the-country IVF is right up our alley. We traveled around the world for 6 months straight in 2006... traveling is our "thing" to say the least. So this kinda' "fits" us, I guess.
Davez still tries to change the whole plan (which is now 99% booked) to going to Thailand instead, but logistically, this just makes more sense. To be honest, I didn't think he'd go for it. Then I thought he went for it to shut me up. Now he's on board. Nervous, and displacing over it, but on board. His biggest fear is not having time to chill by himself, and having Ava loose her chit on the airplane. I got both handled, we'll be fine.
Do you know each other or will you be meeting for the first time in Costa Rica?
This is the exciting part. We have only been email chatting and will be meeting each other for the first time in the baggage terminal where Tracie has already said that she is going to try not to laugh at my "East Coast" accent:)
Tracie: Little does Christa know, I'm actually a 13 year old zit-covered kid from Portland, Oregon. I've been foolin' all your asses for years now. Surprise!
What do your families think about this?
Christa- my parents have been very supportive, my mom was a bit skeptical at first because the first plan was for the girls to go for half and the guys to go for the other. She was upset Adam wasn't going for the whole time and we were going to be "alone" in a foreign country. But she's ok with it especially now since Adam is coming for the whole thing. Honestly, I was a little bit scared of flying all that way with Ella on my lap especially since I hate flying (I get very sick and my ears won't pop). So I'm glad to have the help.
My in laws have been great, helping us book some of their time share so we don't have to pay to stay at certain times during the trip. BIG HELP!!! They are very supportive of our adventure.
Tracie- Hhhmm, that's still pending. My mom is scared, I think. Of the unknown. I tried to explain the process to her last nite, and she says "OMG, this is all very complicated." Um, yes. It is. My dad doesn't say much. We've not said anything else to other family yet. Not sure what we'll do with this.
Our biggest fear is that a child that comes from this process will be LABELED. Which happens sometimes, as much as we'd like to think it doesn't. This has been one helluva journey for us. Although I am bummed (read: ashamed) my body has not worked for us well, I will be extremely proud of any child that comes from this. No matter HOW they got into my belly. I wish Guiana & Bill Rancic were not the ones paving the way for people being open about Infertility. I wish superstars would not keep this problem a secret. I wish no one had to deal with it, but if someone does, I would sure love for that shroud of (whatever it is) to not cover it.
Rant over. Sorry. I don't care what people think, we're doing what is best for our family.
As always, feel free to ask any other questions you have, we are happy to answer.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Q&A Tracie
* 1)How many babies would you like for the IVF to produce? Are you secretly hoping for twins? Obviously a healthy baby & pregnancy is your main hope.
After loosing 7 pregnancies, I'm just ready for something to stick and stay put. If I were being totally honest, I would admit that twins would be nice. Then we could be done with this chit. But I would admit to wanting the twins thing ONLY if they were full term and healthy, and I didn't have bedrest until the last week. And I could have a vaginal birth. With an epidural. And I could tandem nurse with ease.
And since 99.9% of the audience reading this KNOWS that these requests are certainly a TALL ORDER... I best go back to wishing hard for one sticky cute baby.
With an epidural. lol.
2)If this IVF is not successful (notice, I did not say, a failure..) will you try again?
Yes. I will mother others. Hopefully we'll get a couple of frosties to do a FET. Again, there I go with the tall orders.
* 3)How many children do you want to complete your family?
I've always thought I wanted 4 kids. I bet Davez would be content with 3. Of course, this was all before the hell of getting them started. We're tired. TIE-ERD. But in the same breath, I don't see myself being content with just two. It just does not feel finished in my head. We're always said we're going to do international adoption, and did start the process. We'll pull that off the backburner at some point, I bet. Or do foster-adopt in the states if money becomes the issue I suspect it might someday. Infertility is not only hard on your body and soul, it wrecks your pocketboook.
* 4)I'd love to hear about all the pre-contact that you have had with the doctors.
No you wouldn't. It's been the frustrating part of this to say the least. I'm a control freak, and always have 100 questions. This doc is slow to respond to emails, and whether it's a language/cultural thing or not, his answers are too curt to pacify me. While I have no doubt things will work out once we get there, and my Mark (from Passport Medical) has been AWESOME (he's done IVF with his wife a few times, and knows the lingo and concerns) .... working with this doc could be potentially frustrating for those that don't have the support that I (we) do with our online mom's group. They've been there done that. And I"m so grateful for them and their knowledge. And allowence of my annoying questions non-stop.
* 5)Do you have to go down with a full diagnosis or are they going to work through your various issues?
We have no fricken clue what's wrong with me. My doc there thinks it's "Natural Killer Cell" activity, which is "hooie" in most doc's eyes. He wants me to stop in Nicaragua or Columbia and do "LIT" which is illegal in the states. And it is also deemed "hooie" by most docs. So we're just doing "empiric therapy" such as met, lovenox, folic, etc. and trying to loose as much weight as possible before I go. Uugh. Carrot stick, anyone?
* 6)Have you already sent them your entire medical file?
I have the most impressive yet disturbing and depressing MASTER SPREADSHEET of my history ever. All my cycles, tests, stats, deets.... it is pretty cool, in a "chit, this is my life?" kinda of way. I'll hand carry my records too, but I bet they go unopened. They're not in spanish. lol. Let's face it, I (we) have done so much research and tried so many things by this point, we could practically run this cycle ourselves. Doctor? DOCTOR? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' DOCTOR !!! lol.
After loosing 7 pregnancies, I'm just ready for something to stick and stay put. If I were being totally honest, I would admit that twins would be nice. Then we could be done with this chit. But I would admit to wanting the twins thing ONLY if they were full term and healthy, and I didn't have bedrest until the last week. And I could have a vaginal birth. With an epidural. And I could tandem nurse with ease.
And since 99.9% of the audience reading this KNOWS that these requests are certainly a TALL ORDER... I best go back to wishing hard for one sticky cute baby.
With an epidural. lol.
2)If this IVF is not successful (notice, I did not say, a failure..) will you try again?
Yes. I will mother others. Hopefully we'll get a couple of frosties to do a FET. Again, there I go with the tall orders.
* 3)How many children do you want to complete your family?
I've always thought I wanted 4 kids. I bet Davez would be content with 3. Of course, this was all before the hell of getting them started. We're tired. TIE-ERD. But in the same breath, I don't see myself being content with just two. It just does not feel finished in my head. We're always said we're going to do international adoption, and did start the process. We'll pull that off the backburner at some point, I bet. Or do foster-adopt in the states if money becomes the issue I suspect it might someday. Infertility is not only hard on your body and soul, it wrecks your pocketboook.
* 4)I'd love to hear about all the pre-contact that you have had with the doctors.
No you wouldn't. It's been the frustrating part of this to say the least. I'm a control freak, and always have 100 questions. This doc is slow to respond to emails, and whether it's a language/cultural thing or not, his answers are too curt to pacify me. While I have no doubt things will work out once we get there, and my Mark (from Passport Medical) has been AWESOME (he's done IVF with his wife a few times, and knows the lingo and concerns) .... working with this doc could be potentially frustrating for those that don't have the support that I (we) do with our online mom's group. They've been there done that. And I"m so grateful for them and their knowledge. And allowence of my annoying questions non-stop.
* 5)Do you have to go down with a full diagnosis or are they going to work through your various issues?
We have no fricken clue what's wrong with me. My doc there thinks it's "Natural Killer Cell" activity, which is "hooie" in most doc's eyes. He wants me to stop in Nicaragua or Columbia and do "LIT" which is illegal in the states. And it is also deemed "hooie" by most docs. So we're just doing "empiric therapy" such as met, lovenox, folic, etc. and trying to loose as much weight as possible before I go. Uugh. Carrot stick, anyone?
* 6)Have you already sent them your entire medical file?
I have the most impressive yet disturbing and depressing MASTER SPREADSHEET of my history ever. All my cycles, tests, stats, deets.... it is pretty cool, in a "chit, this is my life?" kinda of way. I'll hand carry my records too, but I bet they go unopened. They're not in spanish. lol. Let's face it, I (we) have done so much research and tried so many things by this point, we could practically run this cycle ourselves. Doctor? DOCTOR? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' DOCTOR !!! lol.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Q&A Christa
- I'm going to make an attempt to answers some of the questions asked in the comment section of last post. These are Christa's answers, Tracie will answer some soon!
- 1)How many babies would you like for the IVF to produce? Are you secretly hoping for twins? Obviously a healthy baby & pregnancy is your main hope. I would like one healthy baby. BUT, I would be happy being pregnant and while I know there are many more risks to a twin pregnancy, I would be ecstatic with twins also.
- 2)If this IVF is not successful (notice, I did not say, a failure..) will you try again? It's tough to say. We are running out of resources (mostly because of money), but will try again in the future sometime. Hopefully this won't have to be a question;)
- 3)How many children do you want to complete your family?
- This is a sticky question in this household! While I am so happy with Ella, I've always wanted 3 or 4 children and even more so now that we have Ella and we know what joy she brings to our life. Adam would be happy with two. Hopefully we will come to a compromise someday.
- 4)I'd love to hear about all the pre-contact that you have had with the doctors. I've worked a lot with Mark from Passport Medical. He helps us get our medical records to the doctor and also helps with scheduling and any questions we may have for the doctor. I've been in email communication with Dr. P (our RE in Costa Rica) and he is very familiar with severe Endometriosis, so that's been good. Also, I've been working with an RE here in Maine to get my required tests completed. I've had them done before, but Dr. P requires that they be done withing one year of the procedure, which is understandable.
- 5)Do you have to go down with a full diagnosis or are they going to work through your various issues? I don't know the exact answer to that question, but I think he wants you to have some idea of what is going on with your body. If something doesn't sound right to him he will definitely tell you.
- 6)Have you already sent them your entire medical file? No, just the tests required, everything else you can bring with you when you go and he will look over them before you start your required dosage of meds. If anyone has any other questions, I would be happy to answer.
Monday, March 15, 2010
GIVEAWAY!!!! WE HAVE A WINNTER!
Celine, Krystle, and Helene, you all get 50$ to spend on a felt playhouse!!! Maggie- for participating you get a consolation prize of 20$ off your purchase of a playhouse. Congrats everyone!!
This is the first of many giveaways to take place on this blog. We are giving away three $50 gift cards to our Felt Playhouse shop! All you have to do is become a follower and comment telling us what you would like to see next on our blog!! Then we will randomly draw three names through an online randomizer.
We look forward to hearing from you!!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Lets Compare Cost of IVF by Country
| USA | Canada | Barbados | Costa Rica / Panama | Argentina | |
| IVF | $12,000 | $5000 | $6000 | $2800 | $4000 |
| ICSI | $13,500 | $6500 | $7000 | $2800 | $4000 |
| Egg Donor IVF | $25,000 – $40,000 | N/A | $7500 | $3000 | $4600 |
| PGD | +$3550 | N/A | +$3750 | N/A | +$4500 |
Embryo Glue, Blastocyst, and Cytoplasmic Transfer are all included in the cost of Costa Rica/Panama's IVF price.
Also, in Costa Rica/Panama if other special services are required, the prices are among the lowest in the world.
- Embryo freezing $500 (includes all embryos obtained).
- Transfer of frozen embryos $1000
- Ovum donor $3000 (includes medication for the donor). You may also provide your own donor and pay only $200 for the anesthetics, plus the cost of medication (approx. $1400).
- Sperm donor $200.
- Epididymal and Testicular aspiration $600 (includes anesthesiologist).
- sources:http://www.centrofecundar.com/, http://passportmedical.com/2009/11/fertility/
Friday, March 12, 2010
Fundraising fun!! Felt Playhouses!
Tracie has this wonderful creative knack, so we decided to put that to good use and collectively make some awesome felt playhouses. They are available through this blog! More information here !!
Here is the beautiful felt playhouse she made for Ava:
We make panels so you can pick and choose your own decor!
Here is the beautiful felt playhouse she made for Ava:
Thursday, March 11, 2010
What goes into an IVF Vacation you ask?
Why, a lot goes into it! T and I started with Googling a lot and she came across a gentleman from Passport Medical named Mark. He and T started talking at first. He specializes in organizing these trips and believe it or not, his wife and he are going through IVF in May also.
We researched CIMA Hospital in Costa Rica and Hospital Panama, obviously in Panama. State of the art equipment including a 4d/5d ultrasound machine! We found that everything was up to or exceeding American standards and were very pleased. We also did a bunch of research on Dr. Perez. His success rates were phenomenal and everything that is required for IVF in the states is also required by him. He needs a CD 3 FSH level, an SHG, a semen analysis from the spouse and other various types of blood work.
After getting some additional questions answered by Mark, we started looking at airfare, accommodations, and costs of living in Costa Rica and Panama for 3 weeks. After regurgitating stats and dollar signs on paper, we have found that we are going to shell out between 1/3 and 1/2 of what we would pay in the states (I will go into breakdown of costs soon). Plus we get to embark on this journey in countries full of palm trees and beaches.
Thanks to Adam's parents we are all staying at their timeshare for the majority of the time we are there, so we cut that cost. Thank you Pat for all the calling around you did, we really appreciate it and understand all the hard work that went into it.
We are STILL planning two months later, so it does take a while to get everything ready and in order. Trying to get all these tests done and out to Dr. Perez has been one of the challenges, also Tracie and I live 1500 miles away from each other, which also makes our communicating about plans a bit challenging.
If I haven't answered all of your questions, I'm probably not thinking of something, we are prepared to answer questions, you can either comment or email either T or I!
We researched CIMA Hospital in Costa Rica and Hospital Panama, obviously in Panama. State of the art equipment including a 4d/5d ultrasound machine! We found that everything was up to or exceeding American standards and were very pleased. We also did a bunch of research on Dr. Perez. His success rates were phenomenal and everything that is required for IVF in the states is also required by him. He needs a CD 3 FSH level, an SHG, a semen analysis from the spouse and other various types of blood work.
After getting some additional questions answered by Mark, we started looking at airfare, accommodations, and costs of living in Costa Rica and Panama for 3 weeks. After regurgitating stats and dollar signs on paper, we have found that we are going to shell out between 1/3 and 1/2 of what we would pay in the states (I will go into breakdown of costs soon). Plus we get to embark on this journey in countries full of palm trees and beaches.
Thanks to Adam's parents we are all staying at their timeshare for the majority of the time we are there, so we cut that cost. Thank you Pat for all the calling around you did, we really appreciate it and understand all the hard work that went into it.
We are STILL planning two months later, so it does take a while to get everything ready and in order. Trying to get all these tests done and out to Dr. Perez has been one of the challenges, also Tracie and I live 1500 miles away from each other, which also makes our communicating about plans a bit challenging.
If I haven't answered all of your questions, I'm probably not thinking of something, we are prepared to answer questions, you can either comment or email either T or I!
Tracie
When I was a kid, I was a 'helluva homemaker. I would cook all day in my easy-bake oven, going through lightbulbs after lightbulbs. I nurtured my babydolls, dressed them in pretty frocks, and even in my teen years when I was supposed to be chasing boys, I was running a babysitting business each weekend. I chose to be a nanny over flipping burgers. I had baby names picked out when I was 12.
I was meant to mother.
For those of you that don't know my story, I goofed around thru my 20's, and finally met The One, Davez, pushing 30. We have had an incredible journey so far, a good part of it spent on a plane on in another country. We LOVE to travel.
We finally started a family, and had our amazing daughter Ava Claire. (just turned age two) Davez is an incredible daddy, and we just adore this amazing little person. We had hints of trouble before she was born, but thought all was well once we got her. Beautiful pregnancy, nice birth... we got this pregnancy thing DOWN !
Or notsomuch.
After she weaned, the hints of trouble became really loud and rude. To date, I've gone thru eight medicated cycles - ranging from clomid to follistim to gonal to ovidrel to lovenox to all the hocus pocus treatments one can google. I've lost 7 pregnancies, most very early, but a special one lingered until 11 weeks, dubbed "Harvey" in our hearts, lost to Trisomy 13.
I've been drained of my blood, had more tests that anyone should ever have, and been given answers only to be told they were wrong, and no one can tell me why this is all happening to us. We define "frustrated" at this point.
So why Costa Rica?
Well, for ME, I can't fathom spending $20K on doing IVF in the states. It's just too much money for us. (to each their own) I can't handle spending it, and I certainly do not have the emotional stability anymore to handle it if it does not work.
So this very affordable "IVF Vacation" idea is RIGHT up our alley. We get to travel to one of the finest hospitals, get state of the art treatments, see new places, try new markets... and hey, if we get a stow-away, even better.
Sometimes it's really hard for me to stand there and look at all the signs, observe all the facts, and try to make sense of what's real.
But there's one thing I know in my heart....
I will mother others.
And we're off on this adventure to see if this is HOW that statement comes true.
I was meant to mother.
For those of you that don't know my story, I goofed around thru my 20's, and finally met The One, Davez, pushing 30. We have had an incredible journey so far, a good part of it spent on a plane on in another country. We LOVE to travel.
We finally started a family, and had our amazing daughter Ava Claire. (just turned age two) Davez is an incredible daddy, and we just adore this amazing little person. We had hints of trouble before she was born, but thought all was well once we got her. Beautiful pregnancy, nice birth... we got this pregnancy thing DOWN !
Or notsomuch.
After she weaned, the hints of trouble became really loud and rude. To date, I've gone thru eight medicated cycles - ranging from clomid to follistim to gonal to ovidrel to lovenox to all the hocus pocus treatments one can google. I've lost 7 pregnancies, most very early, but a special one lingered until 11 weeks, dubbed "Harvey" in our hearts, lost to Trisomy 13.
I've been drained of my blood, had more tests that anyone should ever have, and been given answers only to be told they were wrong, and no one can tell me why this is all happening to us. We define "frustrated" at this point.
So why Costa Rica?
Well, for ME, I can't fathom spending $20K on doing IVF in the states. It's just too much money for us. (to each their own) I can't handle spending it, and I certainly do not have the emotional stability anymore to handle it if it does not work.
So this very affordable "IVF Vacation" idea is RIGHT up our alley. We get to travel to one of the finest hospitals, get state of the art treatments, see new places, try new markets... and hey, if we get a stow-away, even better.
Sometimes it's really hard for me to stand there and look at all the signs, observe all the facts, and try to make sense of what's real.
But there's one thing I know in my heart....
I will mother others.
And we're off on this adventure to see if this is HOW that statement comes true.
Christa
So many things consuming my mind, what if it doesn’t work, what if I get sick, what if this isn’t the best decision for our family, what if, what if, what if.
I can’t believe it’s come to this. IVF. Our final option.
After our precious Ella, we decided to try for another about 6 months after she was born. I weaned her off the breast (one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make) and got pregnant that first month of trying. It was another miracle! Our 10% chance was happening again. No medical intervention at all.
I knew in my heart it was over before it began. While my betas were good and doubled, the first time I saw the baby measuring a few days behind on the u/s I cried. The u/s tech said “don’t worry, they can run a few days off at first, maybe you just miscalculated your dates” (I know my dates like the back of my hand). The midwife said the same thing. Over and over again, repeated u/s’s saying that the baby was measuring small. At 6.5 weeks, there was only a small flutter. After a week of waiting, we finally went in for an u/s at the hospital and at 8 weeks pregnant, the baby was measuring 6w3d with no heartbeat. Whatever heartbeat was there in the first place was gone. We were made to wait another week just in case. The follow up u/s showed no growth, but my uterus was still growing. Missed miscarriage. D&E was scheduled. There were some of the most exhausting days of my life to follow.
We took a couple months off to enjoy the summer and Ella figuring if we could get pregnant on our own again, it would happen with time. This was last April. After 5 rounds of Clomid and 2 IUI’s we still aren’t pregnant and my endo is back full force. I have stage IV endo. No surgeon dares to go back in fearing they will just create even more scar tissue. I’ve already had 3 laps, there isn’t much more they can do at this point anyhow.
IVF is the only option left for me. Nothing is making it through my tubes at this point and I’m not even sure if I can ovulate without assistance anymore. With all these things going through my mind, all these “what if’s”, I know through it all that I have the love and support of my family and friends to hit the purchase button and buy my ticket.
I’m going to Central America. To get the best souvenir ever. A baby.
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