Tracie

When I was a kid, I was a 'helluva homemaker. I would cook all day in my easy-bake oven, going through lightbulbs after lightbulbs. I nurtured my babydolls, dressed them in pretty frocks, and even in my teen years when I was supposed to be chasing boys, I was running a babysitting business each weekend. I chose to be a nanny over flipping burgers. I had baby names picked out when I was 12.

I was meant to mother.

For those of you that don't know my story, I goofed around thru my 20's, and finally met The One, Davez, pushing 30. We have had an incredible journey so far, a good part of it spent on a plane on in another country. We LOVE to travel.
We finally started a family, and had our amazing daughter Ava Claire. (just turned age two) Davez is an incredible daddy, and we just adore this amazing little person. We had hints of trouble before she was born, but thought all was well once we got her. Beautiful pregnancy, nice birth... we got this pregnancy thing DOWN !

Or notsomuch.

After she weaned, the hints of trouble became really loud and rude. To date, I've gone thru eight medicated cycles - ranging from clomid to follistim to gonal to ovidrel to lovenox to all the hocus pocus treatments one can google. I've lost 7 pregnancies, most very early, but a special one lingered until 11 weeks, dubbed "Harvey" in our hearts, lost to Trisomy 13.
I've been drained of my blood, had more tests that anyone should ever have, and been given answers only to be told they were wrong, and no one can tell me why this is all happening to us. We define "frustrated" at this point.

So why Costa Rica?
Well, for ME, I can't fathom spending $20K on doing IVF in the states. It's just too much money for us. (to each their own) I can't handle spending it, and I certainly do not have the emotional stability anymore to handle it if it does not work.
So this very affordable "IVF Vacation" idea is RIGHT up our alley. We get to travel to one of the finest hospitals, get state of the art treatments, see new places, try new markets... and hey, if we get a stow-away, even better.

Sometimes it's really hard for me to stand there and look at all the signs, observe all the facts, and try to make sense of what's real.

But there's one thing I know in my heart....
I will mother others.
And we're off on this adventure to see if this is HOW that statement comes true.

Christa

So many things consuming my mind, what if it doesn’t work, what if I get sick, what if this isn’t the best decision for our family, what if, what if, what if.

I can’t believe it’s come to this.  IVF.  Our final option.

  After our precious Ella, we decided to try for another about 6 months after she was born.  I weaned her off the breast (one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make) and got pregnant that first month of trying.  It was another miracle!  Our 10% chance was happening again.  No medical intervention at all.  

I knew in my heart it was over before it began.  While my betas were good and doubled, the first time I saw the baby measuring a few days behind on the u/s I cried.  The u/s tech said “don’t worry, they can run a few days off at first, maybe you just miscalculated your dates” (I know my dates like the back of my hand).  The midwife said the same thing.  Over and over again, repeated u/s’s saying that the baby was measuring small. At 6.5 weeks, there was only a small flutter.  After a week of waiting,  we finally went in for an u/s at the hospital and at 8 weeks pregnant, the baby was measuring 6w3d with no heartbeat.  Whatever heartbeat was there in the first place was gone. We were made to wait another week just in case.  The follow up u/s showed no growth, but my uterus was still growing.  Missed miscarriage.  D&E was scheduled.  There were some of the most exhausting days of my life to follow.

We took a couple months off to enjoy the summer and Ella figuring if we could get pregnant on our own again, it would happen with time.  This was last April.  After 5 rounds of Clomid and 2 IUI’s we still aren’t pregnant and my endo is back full force.  I have stage IV endo.  No surgeon dares to go back in fearing they will just create even more scar tissue.  I’ve already had 3 laps, there isn’t much more they can do at this point anyhow.

IVF is the only option left for me.  Nothing is making it through my tubes at this point and I’m not even sure if I can ovulate without assistance anymore.  With all these things going through my mind, all these “what if’s”, I know through it all that I have the love and support of my family and friends to hit the purchase button and buy my ticket.

 I’m going to Central America.  To get the best souvenir ever.  A baby.